Monday, October 23rd, 2006
Here are some thoughts about the value of mediation:
In considering how to go about separation, first ask yourself: "what is most important to me?". Most couples value the certainty that their separation will not become a battle. In my experience, clients tell me that the most stressful part of a decision to end a marriage or a relationship is the fear of the unknown.
Here are a few reasons why choosing mediation can put the fear behind you:
1.In mediation, the mediator will assist you to look forward and to set goals for yourself that are reasonable.
2.Although it is normal to be tempted to blame one other for the failure of the relationship, the mediator is trained to keep the discussions centered on future outcomes and to test how each person's reasonable goals can be met.
3.Mediation is a level playing field. Fear is often associated with the concern by one person that the other will be able to "outlast" them in a court battle, or "turn the children" against them. The mediator will explain the importance of creating a budget for the mediation so that each person has equal access to the process. The mediator will also help parents focus on the needs of their kids.
4.If there are children, there are mediators who specialize in creating plans and schedules so that parents can make realistic arrangements for their kids.
Inform yourself on the value mediation can bring to your situation. And remember, mediation can help you in all aspects of your life, whether it is dispute with a neighbour, a work colleague, a teacher, etc.
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